Ponies
Ponies is the second episode of KRA. Basic Summary Kirby meets his new neighbors for the first time (Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy), and isn't so thrilled due to a traumatizing incident that happened to him as a child that involved ponies. Now, Kirby sets out to kill his new neighbors, but fails. Transcript (Kirby is seen knocking at Yirby's door) Yirby: *Opens door* Broke out of prison again? Kirby: Third time this hour! (Kirby walks inside the house) (Kirby immediatly goes to the kitchen to get some beer, only to find that there is no beer) Kirby: What the hell is THIS? Yirby: What? Kirby: There's no freakin' beer! Yirby: No s**t, Sherlock. You drank them all. Kirby: GET MORE! Yirby: Why don't you? Kirby: *Grabs a crowbar and smashes Yirby's head* Yirby:...Ya'know, just go ask teh neighbors. (Cut to the outside of the house, where a car parks.) Kirby: Wait, what? Those are some pretty deformed-ass neighbors. (Yirby looks at them through binoculars) Yirby: That's because they're not Kirbys. They're ponies. Kirby: Ponies? I doubt those big-girls-blouses would have any beer for me. I'm sure they're very much sober. Yirby: Yes, Kirby, ponies. Now get your ass out of that twist and learn to live without alcohol. Kirby: Ponies. (he loses himself in thought for a second) Ponies? Ponies! PONIES!!! Yirby: What's wrong, Kirby? Kirby: The ponies... oh my god... (he convulses for a second and has a mini-seizure) Yirby: Dude, they're ponies. Why are you freakin' scared of them? You been reading too much "Cupcakes"? Kirby: Alright, some pretty twisted stuff happened to me in my childhood to do with ponies. Yirby: What stuff? Kirby: Well, I was six years old, and - BYE, SEE YA ROUND! (He jumps out of window, and breaks his leg. We see an ambulance come past.) (Cut to the ponies' house.) Pinkie Pie: FLUTTERSHY GET YOUR FATASS OVER HERE! (Fluttershy walks in) Fluttershy: Yes, boss? Pinkie Pie: THERE'S A SMALL PINK HAIR IN MY SOUP! Fluttershy: Oh dear! Terribly sorry boss, let me remove th- (Pinkie Pie suddenly grabs a gun and shoots Fluttershy) Pinkie Pie: TRY HARDER NEXT TIME! (A door knock is heard) Pinkie Pie: DOOR'S OPEN! Nigel: *From outside the house* NO, IT's F***ING NOT! Pinkie Pie: TRY OPENING IT HARDER! (Nigel grabs a bazooka and breaks down the door) Pinkie Pie: THERE YA GO! Nigel:...Listen, some of my hookers have been stolen! Pinkie Pie:...THEN WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK I HAVE THEM?! Nigel: *suddenly blows up* Pinkie Pie:....dafuq just happened? (At Yirby's house) (Kirby is seen hiding under the couch) Yirby: So why are you afraid of ponies? Kirby: It-it all started...when I was 6. I was at a roadeo for my sister's 4th birthday. We have never riden a horse before. When my sis rode the horse, it seemed liked it was easy, as it seemed like she was having fun. So when I got onto the horse, I rode it. Suddenly, the horse started walking, to an abandon house. I did nothing as I thought the mindless horse knew what it was f***in' doin'. The horse entered, pushed me off, and turned on the lights. As the lights turned on, I saw..corpses. Tons and tons of goddamned corpses. It was a horrifying sight. Suddenly, the horse strapped me to a table, as I tried to escape, but failed, and held out a sawblade connected to a stick. It was about to cut my arm off, when suddenly, the owner of the roadeo suddenly show up. The owner was shocked, and suddenly grabbed out a gun and shot the horse. I was safely returned to my parents, and I never spoke of the incident until now. Yirby:....Damn, your childhood was pretty messed up. Kirby: I know. Yirby: But Kirby, you've gotta face the music. Kirby: How will facing music help me with this problem? Yirby: Ugh, I mean you've gotta face your fears. Kirby: Nope. Nuh-uh. Nada. Yirby: Yes. Si. Indeed. Kirby: DERPITY-DOO! *Flys away* Yirby: Ugh. I hate this show's logic. Kirby: YOU CAN FLY TOO, YOU KNOW! Yirby: Oh yeah. (Classic Sonic suddenly apppears) Yirby: Oh, hey, CS. Classic Sonic: *random arm movements* *Translation: Kirby stole my whisky cocktail vodka beer. Get it back or else I'll cut your stomach off with a linoleum knife* Yirby:...Gee, what crawled up your ass? Classic Sonic: *random arm movements* *Translation: A lot of things. Mostly toilet paper* Yirby:.... (Kirby falls into the house) Kirby: I HAVE AN IDEA! Yirby: On how to overcome your fears? Kirby: *Robotnik voice* NO! Kirby: I will KILL the ponies! Yirby:..K, have fun in jail. Kirby: I WILL! Classic Sonic: *Random arm movements* *Translation: Hey, Asshat! Gimme back my Whisky Cocktail Vodka Beer!* Kirby: I already drank that. Classic Sonic:....*Tackles Kirby and repeatibly punches him* (Kirby screams in agony) Yirby:...God, this neighborhood is violent. (Later) (Kirby knocks on Pinkie Pie's door, holding a machine gun) Pinkie Pie: *opens door* WHO THE F*** IS IT? Kirby: Hi. I'm the Grim Reaper. Your time has come. *Cocks his machine gun* Pinkie Pie: I think you're lookin' for my assistant, Fluttershy. She's avoided death so many times I've lost count...probably because I've never learned to count. Kirby: Is this "Hutterbye" a pony? Pinkie Pie: Yes... Kirby: Excellent. Pinkie Pie: Yeah, hang on. FLUTTERS**T! Fluttershy: Yes? Pinkie Pie: SOME DEFORMED GRIM REAPER IS HERE!! TBA Category:Episode Category:Season 1